I Saw Love


What a strange weekend!

Shit, maybe it wasn’t that strange at all? Actually, yeah... Now that I think about it everything that transpired was an incredibly mundane and normal thing to have happened, I guess.
So why did it feel so alien to me?

What happened?
Well, one of my best friends on this entire planet, Tony, got married!

I had only met his new wife, Steph, once before the wedding and maybe that’s why it felt so strange to me. I can’t be sure. I felt like it was all so quick and spontaneous since I was a thousand miles away the entire duration of their relationship. Plus, a common thing in my life is being absolute shit at keeping in touch with everyone. I feel like a huge asshole at times. I blame social media. I see everyone’s faces so much that I feel like I don’t have to call. Sorry, everyone.

Obviously it wasn’t rushed for Tony and Steph, they planned an entire wedding for fuck’s sake... but I rolled into town and two days later I was standing beside him at the altar watching his soul merge with hers. Or whatever. I know that’s dramatic, but it did feel pretty fucking magical! I just didn’t know anything about the relationship and then I got to discover it so quickly and strongly. I was overwhelmed. I was caught off guard and I cried. A lot.

I didn’t know what to expect.

I knew he was incredibly happy, and I knew she was lovely from the second I met her, but loads of people are lovely! I felt guilty that all I knew about his wife was that she was incredibly pleasant to be around. I feel guilty about absolutely everything in life, so that’s not abnormal, but I was still in awe that someone I was so close with was doing this massive thing with someone who was essentially a stranger to me. By no means was I skeptical, though. I know Tony and I know how his brain works. He’s an incredibly smart and caring person who over analyzes everything but follows his heart. He can be a perfectionist to an annoying extent, but he thinks everything through and he knows exactly what he wants.
He is, also, the best person I know.

To be honest, I still don’t know a TON about Steph. She was busy planning a wedding, then getting married, then off to her honeymoon.
But, holy shit!! I’m confident that if anyone met her and spent even a small amount of time with her they would get a very clear picture of who she is.

It’s pretty freaky, actually. Maybe it was that she knew stuff about me and was very open to showing herself, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she’s just an incredible and confident person who can reveal herself to anyone she chooses to. An absolutely genuine person. A genuinely good person, at that!

My first impression of Steph being “lovely” is a gross understatement. I don’t even know how to describe her without sounding like I’m lying. No one should be that rad right away.

(Insert an unending list of positive attributes here)

She’s a teacher, which makes a lot of sense. I gather that she is the type of person that will inspire little shit head kids to be better people. I’m sure her students will grow to thank her for shaping their world view an endless number of times though out her life and career.

Fuck, I should thank her! She inspired me to be a kinder person within fifteen minutes.

The wedding itself was great. These two amazing people got married and everyone I talked to seemed to agree that there was some strange energy in the air. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m sure there is a logical explanation, but it sure as hell felt like some bizarre-magic-love-dust to me. It felt like everyone in attendance was having a shared psychedelic experience where we got to witness some strange electrified moment where you could literally feel the love of two other people.

It freaked me out.
It was powerful and I loved it.

Talking with some of the other groomsmen, I think it freaked them out too. I know a bunch of us cried like children. While I can’t speak for everyone, I can say that I’m definitely not someone who cries. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge pussy... I just never cry and I was balling like a fucking child. I’m having a hard time figuring out why I was able to be vulnerable enough to cry so much, and I think I was just overwhelmed with whatever was happening.

I was insanely proud of my friend.
I was ecstatic these two amazing people were so happy.
I felt lucky I was able to witness whatever was going on.
I was just floored by the amount of love exhibited the entire weekend.
And honestly, I think I realized a lot about myself just by being in the presence of all the amazing people that I hadn’t seen in so long.

I witnessed true love. It was inspiring. It was beautiful.

I know that sounds corny, but fuck you.

Maybe you had to be there?

-Matthew Cries